I wanna give a shout out..

For some reason God has reminded me of my journey with Him for the past few years... it certainly brings many emotions. But most of all, it brings a heart of Gratitude. I'm thankful for all of what you have put me through God. It has had beautiful moments, moments of being afraid, Moments were I had to step up and step out.

Sometimes I feel like I live on a Monopoly board game and I'm the shoe piece being placed wherever the player (GOD) wants me to go. You have brought some pretty interesting people into my life and in the same way, you have taken some characters right out. Sometimes I didn't want you to take some of them away, but you knew best at the end of it all. And some of them I felt like you could have brought them sooner than when you did. ;)

So looking back, there are certain people that stand out that have helped me out in certain ways that i could never erase. And even though they may never read this, I feel compelled to mention them. I hope you can read this and how much I appreciate you and ask the Lord to BLESS YOU 100 FOLD of what you have bestowed upon me!!! You have a piece of investment for Eternity of what you have done in my life...

So here it goes...

The Rodriguez family- Opening your home to my mother and I when we had no place to live and were living in our car. (You truly showed me God's love and Compassion) I can never stop thanking you for all you did for us!!! God Bless you!!!

The Shorts- I don't know where to start. My eyes tear up. I know you guys have done things for me thinking that I didn't know where it came from.. I knew all along. Even till this day, you guys let me know that you are my family and genuinely care and love me UNCONDITIONALLY, mistakes and all! I love you guys!! May God continue to Bless you !!!! You believed in me and challenged me not to take the easy road but Step it up and trust in God!

Mr. Jacobs- You believed in me and "counseled" me for 9 Stinkin months about attending Evangelism School. What patience you have!! Lord Bless you and ur beautiful wife!

The Wiggins- Holy Cow... You guys prayed for me to attend Evangelism school and when I nearly had all my down, all I needed was $107 and you guys happened to get a check in the mail for $107 that day and felt the need to give it to me to go to school, when you REALLY COULD HAVE USED IT having 3 kids at home...!! THAT HAD SUCH IMPACT ON MY LIFE! You don't even know!!! BLESSING AND ANNOINTING ON YOUR FAMILY! Shalomie homies!

The Moultons- Ohhhh the Moultons... You guys give so much!! You guys hardly knew me when you found out that i didn't have a car and Lend me ur van for 9 MONTHS!!! Say Whaaaa?! Yep, 9 months!! And you guys had such trust in me to lead the youth for the church... God bless you!!!!!! You showed me the Heart of God. That He loves to give to His children.

My family for providing at such perfect timings.. A meal, A night on the couch, groceries... Don't think I wasn't watching all that you were doing. :) I love you.

Frankie and Elizabeth- Thank you, thank you, thank you. You guys ROCK!!!! You gave me my first experience at ministry as a "Jr. Counselor" for the High Schoolers. You guys TRULY love God and wanted US to SEEK HIM OUT. Your Hearts are beautiful and delicate. (Probably sounds girly for ya Frankie, just take it in.. hahaha) And you gave me a 2nd chance when I messed up. (You showed me God's MERCY and Grace)

Isai Madrigal- Man... You KEEP loving on me (and no people.. not romantically, don't get it twisted) hahah You always give me Gods Truth. You always encourage me and I believe in your calling!! Don't give up!!!!! He has your back and All things will come to Pass. You always try to help me, in so many ways. And you know what i'm talking about. May God Bless you with an awesome Wife that LOVES the Lord and will be your help mate!!

Josh (Super Duper) Luper- We have had an interesting start of a friendship that travels over thousands of miles. You are ALWAYS there for me. Always there to let me cry to you. You are sweet and kind and giving. May God Bless you! He has been opening doors for you and guiding you, remember who is doing it.. Thank you for showing me that you don't have to live next door to someone to have an incredible friendship!! I love you and thank you for all your love!! TQM.

Tamina Lee- You have been my friend in crises, my nurse, my ear and shoulder to lean on. I love you. Thank you for being there when I was alone in surgery or "other" situations.. hhahha. We hit it off since the first time we talked. remember? :) God bless you friend!! God bless you..

Janice Alvarez- You are a fire cracker and I love you for it! You have brought truth and spoke it when all others were thinking it. You are an amazing friend and thank you for your trust. Don't EVER change. Otherwise you wouldn't be you... And I love you. You are always there for me. God has given you a sight to SEE things... believe it. TEACH, TEACH, TEACH... you were MADE for it. And I am STILL impacted from the teaching you gave nearly 2 years ago!!

Mommy- I saved the best for last. There really isn't enuff room for me to write all the things that you have sacrificed and done for me. I love you. You have given your desires up, your meals, your comfort for others and your a fighter ma! I have seen you fight a good fight... and you do it on your knees! You fight for your family EVERYDAY. You are BEAUTIFUL. You always give me the best. God has made you to give. You give for everyone around you. I hope one day to give you what you have sacrificed for me. I want to give you a home with white furniture and a garden and a kitchen to do some major cooking in! I love you and may God bless your strength and heart!!

Look people, this isn't the WHOLE list.. these are just a few names that popped out at first. There are MANY people to thank.

And I'm glad I did this, makes my heart light and my evening took a turn for the good. Maybe He is reminding me that HE HAS ALWAYS been there despite my circumstances. He always provides, He always protects, He always Loves, He is ALWAYS there...

Thank you for reminding me of your Love Lord. Now lets see whats in store for OUR future together.

Pain.

I had plans for tonight. In about 15 minutes, I was supposed to hop in my little car and head to a bible study that I look forward to going...

God has an incredible humor. I love that about you God.

At the very moment i'm laying on my couch. I wish I could tell you that I'm sitting up... but my back is in pain. And I would like to think that I have a high tolerance for pain. So if I'm at the point of verbally saying something or stopping myself from moving.. it's bad. I heated it for a great while hopping that it would help. No...

I was in an accident December 3rd and have been getting my "spine trained to stay in place" -My chiropractor. So here I lay in between treatment appointments, in pain and wishing I could feel good enuff to be moving normal. On top of that I think i have a fever. I stopped at the gas station today to pump gas and for the 4 minutes I was out of the car, God made it POUR down. Resulting in my hat, clothes, shoes and socks being soaked. I was laughing then, but not now. haha okay maybe a little.

So here I am. Laying down. And in a dream state. And no, I didn't take any pain killers... lol. I dream about being somewhere else. Things I want to do, learn and see. I miss Chiapas, MX. Being at the orphanage and seeing people give their lives to Jesus on the city streets. I miss translating and playing the cajon in worship. I know the best is yet to come. And although God wants me to stay home tonight, I trust that He has something that He is saving me from or that He wants me to just rest in Him. :)

LOVE

Well I have had a love/hate relationship with Valentines Day for as long as I can remember.

Since I was in Elementary School, I would get something for Valentines. Aside from your traditional VDAY cards from your classmates. My mom would usually do something great like have a stuffed teddy bear and balloons delivered to my class with a note saying that she loved me. (She's the best)

So growing up, I thought EVERY VDAY I would GET something...

Flowers? Chocolates? Love notes?

It took me a verrrrry long time to realize a few things here. And I know God LOVINGLY wanted to fix my thinking on Love.

So here it goes.

God had taught me that Love is a Verb.It's an action. We toss the word "love" all around. To anyone and anywhere. And heres what i'm learning... it's a choice, and it's something that God takes very seriously.

I always was the kind of person waiting to receive things that would say "I love you" from others. And i'm not just talking about Valentines here. But in my day to day life.

But yet again, God reminds me of His son.

How did He express love? He gave it freely... He gave it All. Without limits on status, title, or fame. Thank God for that, otherwise I would have left out. Yikes !

God talks so much in the bible about love. Afterall, It IS our love letter from Him to us.

Jesus wants us to LOVE ON ALL PEOPLE. Not on 1 day of the year. But all days. There are so many verses that started flowing thru my head about love. But I don't want this to be a preaching but a lesson I want to share of what i'm going thru.

So heres what i'm doing. I'm going to share His love in tangible ways. A ride, share a meal, share my time, whatever or however I can. I may not automatically be "perfect" in this dept. but I will STRIVE for Godliness.

So starting this valentines, my mode will be of GIVING instead of receiving, and everyday thereafter. Jesus showed me that He gave to me without restraint. And so must I.

Here is my prayer for you and I, that we may fully love on others so that His spirit can fully move through us to do His work. To be filled with Him and His promise and power, and in as much as I receive it, to give it away.

Losing oneself.

I've heard it. I've read it. I believe in it.

"Lose your life, just so you can find it."

So today, after ALL my plans fell thru the cracks, I decided to do some cleaning. Don't get me wrong, I love to clean. It is relaxing, theraputic even. :)

When I clean, I always put on some tunes. It helps me clean with some "rhythm". So I put on Phil Wickham a song called "True Love". His voice is amazing. Very angelic.

Anyhoo...

I start to clean the kitchen and I really was meditating on the words as I was scrubbin along, which doesn't always happen.

This song is POWERFUL! And lately the theme that God keeps reminding me is "MEDITATE ON ME..." So with this song, it was really easy to put my mind on the things above.

So my favorite line from the song for the moment is Lose your life, just so that you can find it...

THIS is hard. But NOT impossible. If HE (Jesus) told me to do so in His word, it's possible. Point blank. It's just time to put me away. I think if I was Jesus, I wouldn't want to go thru the whips, lashes, spits to the face, pulling on the beard, Cross bearing for ANYONE... but that wasn't him at all! He put HIS OWN SELF to the side. And did what the father asked of Him to do. He is the ultimate example.

Lose self. Find Christ.