Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

So in my new job, I'm a Proctor (Test Admisitrator), I watch people take exams, most of these people are in the financial and medical field.

From the moment they come in to the office to take their exam to the moment they finish and leave those front doors, these people are TENSE. I thought one guy was going to vomit all over me when I asked him his name and what exam he came to take!

So I started thinking last week as I was watching these people literally pull their hair out, clench their fists, shake their heads, shake their legs and sweat it out in front of their computer... Is this how I react to a test that the Lord gives me??

And the answer is YES.

I have been given the material to study (The bible), I have access to tutors (My mentors) and the Teacher is willing to spend one on one time with me on what I don't understand (Jesus). So here comes the test... And the truth of the matter is that I don't ALWAYS pass, EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THE RIGHT ANSWER.

And I know that when I don't pass a test from the Lord, EVENTUALLY it's going to come back again so that i can pass and grow.

How can someone on a game go to the final round?? They have to PASS all the other levels...

I know that when a test comes my way, I don't always want to do the right thing, my flash doesn't want to. To be submissive, to give a gentle response, to think on things that are true. etc. You get me drift.

So here is the battle, to live out the truth, pass the tests and to REPRESENT Christ in ALL you DO, SAY or THINK.

I don't want to go through the toughness of a test, stress the living daylights out of myself and end up failing. No es Bueno.

Here is my prayer for today.

Lord Jesus, I come before you in the Name of Jesus, thanking you for your love and mercy and for taking me out of my old lifestyle. I ask that you give me more wisdom and understand, boldness and strength to stand for your righteousness and to PASS every test of growth for you.

Thank you for all the people you surround me with and for always protecting me. I love you, and I want to show you that by obeying your word.

Until we talk again when i hit traffic on the freeway,

Amen.

Can I get some CHANGE up in here?!

I find myself seeing the same patterns over and over again in life...

Why do we tend to stay in bubbles, clicks or same mentality? Not trying to point anyone else out here, this is a self check.

But really... we hang out with the same people as if we don't know others. Facebook has helped me to see this in my own self sometimes. I have alot of ''friends'' on there and I only really talk to about 10 of them! Whats wrong with me! Then I complain about how theres no sense of community in my life.. wow.

Action needs to take place. I need to make the time, make the effort and be available. I think I'm missing out on alot of blessings. Not to recieve FROM.. but to GIVE to.

Life is passing by. Time is not on my side, I need to make the most of every day. WHAT AM I DOING TO IMPACT THIS WORLD?!

I don't want to waste my days. For all I know, My King could take me home right when I walk away from my computer.

(pondering)

Theres something more for me, I know it. I know He has been trimming things off that don't please Him. But I don't know, I want to have IMPACT, be a WORLD CHANGER, go out with a BANG!

I need to walk in boldness and not in fear of what I cannot see, of the unknown. I need to extend my horizons and friendships. If the person who reached out to me to tell me about Jesus stuck with their own click, I wouldn't be saved.. point blank. Jesus went to talk to ALL people from ALL walks of life. rich, poor, dirty, clean, women, men...

Wake up Carrie, time for change... Stop clinging to what and who you know. Reach out till you have reached all 4 corners of the Earth with his truth, love and freedom.

(EXHALE and smile)

Here I go!!

Kick boxin these walls down!

Uniqueness. Originality. Outstanding.

I know there are passions that the Lord has put in my heart. I consider myself a late bloomer in many areas in life. I catch the train right before it leaves the station...

For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to take pictures. I would walk around Pasadena, the Beach, Los Angeles, San Diego or pretty much wherever and could see a shot, a great picture in my head. What was I missing? The dang camera! lol.

Well that problem was taken care of last summer. After my mom and brother took me to a camera store and helped me pick out my very first camera :)

So thereafter, I started taking pictures. I love it~! I really do! Don't get me wrong, this has been a learning process and it will probably always be one. I'm still getting to know Betsy (My camera) Don't laugh. Okay, go ahead, but only a little. ;) She has many settings and I only use 1 or 2 to be honest. Maybe i'm intimidated. lol.

Well I want to burst down the walls of typical shots. More than a pose. I want to give a picture with meaning, a message. Something deep. Something with TRUTH.

I can see shots in my head but I don't know how to make it happen. I ask the Lord to give me wisdom and opportunity.

For meantime, I will keep doing photo shoots to learn how to manipulate my camera.

Here are some shots from my latest shoot. Enjoy!!

Lets be real.

Sometimes life doesn't exactly go according to "plan", right? Can we agree on that?

And when God is taking you through that situation or in some cases, SEASON of trial... It seems like life is ending, as though you are choking.

But man, when you are walking out of it, and you look back. You become WAY THANKFUL, and hopefully more Wiser and Stronger... (Thats my prayer at least..)

As I sit to write all of this down, I'm looking back on this last season that I am coming out of.. and saying to God, Thank you! WOW. I couldn't have gotten out of that funk without you daddy.

This last year has been insane. INSANE.

Without work, Car Accident that left me "temporarily handicapped" to put it nicely, Facing MAJOR heart issues that needed to be dealt with, Deception, Depression. I mean it has been totally crazy. But what could I do? The ONLY thing I could do is Hold on for dear life to Jesus and His promise and Love for me. Alot of people and things will leave when times are tough but God has always ben there, waiting for me to run into his arms.

This is a new season. A beautiful season! God is blessing. He is bringing opportunity. He is renewing, changing, growing and bringing beautiful gifts into my life that I am ever thankful for.

What Satan had intended for Evil, My Jesus is bringing it into my life for Goooooood!

I want to leave you with this.

"God is everywhere, He is at Target, He is at the Super market, He is at the Park and Disneyland.." - My Almost 4 year old Niece. She gets it. :)

God is good people. Even when were in the fire, being refined. He is STILL good. The best is yet to come.. Look for His face to kiss it.

Heart happy.

The Month of March has been Beautiful..

It has been full of His LOVE. Full of presents from Heaven.

I truly feel overwhelmed, In a good way of course. Just when you feel like you cannot take another step forward in the desert, He comes like an Eagle and rescues you with aide and rest. My heart is joyful and I am amazed of His goodness, YET AGAIN. You never fail me Daddy.

That being said, there is also a battle that roars inside of me. The battle of man pleasing, Ugh.

Why is it that I feel the need to please man? To gain acceptance (at times). Or feel that we have to give explanations?? I truly DISLIKE this kind of obligation.

I ask the Lord to please help me overcome this.

It's funny when you read about how Jesus did life and ministry... He SPIT in a guys eyes to heal him. Everything he did was NOT COMMON to the ways they lived in. And the chatter amongst the people didn't stop Him. He knew HIS IDENTITY and HIS PURPOSE. There is the key. And thats that I have to follow.

Ha! I guess sometimes you just have to write things out to see the correct perspective. Well I feel better. haha :)

I wanna give a shout out..

For some reason God has reminded me of my journey with Him for the past few years... it certainly brings many emotions. But most of all, it brings a heart of Gratitude. I'm thankful for all of what you have put me through God. It has had beautiful moments, moments of being afraid, Moments were I had to step up and step out.

Sometimes I feel like I live on a Monopoly board game and I'm the shoe piece being placed wherever the player (GOD) wants me to go. You have brought some pretty interesting people into my life and in the same way, you have taken some characters right out. Sometimes I didn't want you to take some of them away, but you knew best at the end of it all. And some of them I felt like you could have brought them sooner than when you did. ;)

So looking back, there are certain people that stand out that have helped me out in certain ways that i could never erase. And even though they may never read this, I feel compelled to mention them. I hope you can read this and how much I appreciate you and ask the Lord to BLESS YOU 100 FOLD of what you have bestowed upon me!!! You have a piece of investment for Eternity of what you have done in my life...

So here it goes...

The Rodriguez family- Opening your home to my mother and I when we had no place to live and were living in our car. (You truly showed me God's love and Compassion) I can never stop thanking you for all you did for us!!! God Bless you!!!

The Shorts- I don't know where to start. My eyes tear up. I know you guys have done things for me thinking that I didn't know where it came from.. I knew all along. Even till this day, you guys let me know that you are my family and genuinely care and love me UNCONDITIONALLY, mistakes and all! I love you guys!! May God continue to Bless you !!!! You believed in me and challenged me not to take the easy road but Step it up and trust in God!

Mr. Jacobs- You believed in me and "counseled" me for 9 Stinkin months about attending Evangelism School. What patience you have!! Lord Bless you and ur beautiful wife!

The Wiggins- Holy Cow... You guys prayed for me to attend Evangelism school and when I nearly had all my down, all I needed was $107 and you guys happened to get a check in the mail for $107 that day and felt the need to give it to me to go to school, when you REALLY COULD HAVE USED IT having 3 kids at home...!! THAT HAD SUCH IMPACT ON MY LIFE! You don't even know!!! BLESSING AND ANNOINTING ON YOUR FAMILY! Shalomie homies!

The Moultons- Ohhhh the Moultons... You guys give so much!! You guys hardly knew me when you found out that i didn't have a car and Lend me ur van for 9 MONTHS!!! Say Whaaaa?! Yep, 9 months!! And you guys had such trust in me to lead the youth for the church... God bless you!!!!!! You showed me the Heart of God. That He loves to give to His children.

My family for providing at such perfect timings.. A meal, A night on the couch, groceries... Don't think I wasn't watching all that you were doing. :) I love you.

Frankie and Elizabeth- Thank you, thank you, thank you. You guys ROCK!!!! You gave me my first experience at ministry as a "Jr. Counselor" for the High Schoolers. You guys TRULY love God and wanted US to SEEK HIM OUT. Your Hearts are beautiful and delicate. (Probably sounds girly for ya Frankie, just take it in.. hahaha) And you gave me a 2nd chance when I messed up. (You showed me God's MERCY and Grace)

Isai Madrigal- Man... You KEEP loving on me (and no people.. not romantically, don't get it twisted) hahah You always give me Gods Truth. You always encourage me and I believe in your calling!! Don't give up!!!!! He has your back and All things will come to Pass. You always try to help me, in so many ways. And you know what i'm talking about. May God Bless you with an awesome Wife that LOVES the Lord and will be your help mate!!

Josh (Super Duper) Luper- We have had an interesting start of a friendship that travels over thousands of miles. You are ALWAYS there for me. Always there to let me cry to you. You are sweet and kind and giving. May God Bless you! He has been opening doors for you and guiding you, remember who is doing it.. Thank you for showing me that you don't have to live next door to someone to have an incredible friendship!! I love you and thank you for all your love!! TQM.

Tamina Lee- You have been my friend in crises, my nurse, my ear and shoulder to lean on. I love you. Thank you for being there when I was alone in surgery or "other" situations.. hhahha. We hit it off since the first time we talked. remember? :) God bless you friend!! God bless you..

Janice Alvarez- You are a fire cracker and I love you for it! You have brought truth and spoke it when all others were thinking it. You are an amazing friend and thank you for your trust. Don't EVER change. Otherwise you wouldn't be you... And I love you. You are always there for me. God has given you a sight to SEE things... believe it. TEACH, TEACH, TEACH... you were MADE for it. And I am STILL impacted from the teaching you gave nearly 2 years ago!!

Mommy- I saved the best for last. There really isn't enuff room for me to write all the things that you have sacrificed and done for me. I love you. You have given your desires up, your meals, your comfort for others and your a fighter ma! I have seen you fight a good fight... and you do it on your knees! You fight for your family EVERYDAY. You are BEAUTIFUL. You always give me the best. God has made you to give. You give for everyone around you. I hope one day to give you what you have sacrificed for me. I want to give you a home with white furniture and a garden and a kitchen to do some major cooking in! I love you and may God bless your strength and heart!!

Look people, this isn't the WHOLE list.. these are just a few names that popped out at first. There are MANY people to thank.

And I'm glad I did this, makes my heart light and my evening took a turn for the good. Maybe He is reminding me that HE HAS ALWAYS been there despite my circumstances. He always provides, He always protects, He always Loves, He is ALWAYS there...

Thank you for reminding me of your Love Lord. Now lets see whats in store for OUR future together.

Pain.

I had plans for tonight. In about 15 minutes, I was supposed to hop in my little car and head to a bible study that I look forward to going...

God has an incredible humor. I love that about you God.

At the very moment i'm laying on my couch. I wish I could tell you that I'm sitting up... but my back is in pain. And I would like to think that I have a high tolerance for pain. So if I'm at the point of verbally saying something or stopping myself from moving.. it's bad. I heated it for a great while hopping that it would help. No...

I was in an accident December 3rd and have been getting my "spine trained to stay in place" -My chiropractor. So here I lay in between treatment appointments, in pain and wishing I could feel good enuff to be moving normal. On top of that I think i have a fever. I stopped at the gas station today to pump gas and for the 4 minutes I was out of the car, God made it POUR down. Resulting in my hat, clothes, shoes and socks being soaked. I was laughing then, but not now. haha okay maybe a little.

So here I am. Laying down. And in a dream state. And no, I didn't take any pain killers... lol. I dream about being somewhere else. Things I want to do, learn and see. I miss Chiapas, MX. Being at the orphanage and seeing people give their lives to Jesus on the city streets. I miss translating and playing the cajon in worship. I know the best is yet to come. And although God wants me to stay home tonight, I trust that He has something that He is saving me from or that He wants me to just rest in Him. :)

LOVE

Well I have had a love/hate relationship with Valentines Day for as long as I can remember.

Since I was in Elementary School, I would get something for Valentines. Aside from your traditional VDAY cards from your classmates. My mom would usually do something great like have a stuffed teddy bear and balloons delivered to my class with a note saying that she loved me. (She's the best)

So growing up, I thought EVERY VDAY I would GET something...

Flowers? Chocolates? Love notes?

It took me a verrrrry long time to realize a few things here. And I know God LOVINGLY wanted to fix my thinking on Love.

So here it goes.

God had taught me that Love is a Verb.It's an action. We toss the word "love" all around. To anyone and anywhere. And heres what i'm learning... it's a choice, and it's something that God takes very seriously.

I always was the kind of person waiting to receive things that would say "I love you" from others. And i'm not just talking about Valentines here. But in my day to day life.

But yet again, God reminds me of His son.

How did He express love? He gave it freely... He gave it All. Without limits on status, title, or fame. Thank God for that, otherwise I would have left out. Yikes !

God talks so much in the bible about love. Afterall, It IS our love letter from Him to us.

Jesus wants us to LOVE ON ALL PEOPLE. Not on 1 day of the year. But all days. There are so many verses that started flowing thru my head about love. But I don't want this to be a preaching but a lesson I want to share of what i'm going thru.

So heres what i'm doing. I'm going to share His love in tangible ways. A ride, share a meal, share my time, whatever or however I can. I may not automatically be "perfect" in this dept. but I will STRIVE for Godliness.

So starting this valentines, my mode will be of GIVING instead of receiving, and everyday thereafter. Jesus showed me that He gave to me without restraint. And so must I.

Here is my prayer for you and I, that we may fully love on others so that His spirit can fully move through us to do His work. To be filled with Him and His promise and power, and in as much as I receive it, to give it away.

Losing oneself.

I've heard it. I've read it. I believe in it.

"Lose your life, just so you can find it."

So today, after ALL my plans fell thru the cracks, I decided to do some cleaning. Don't get me wrong, I love to clean. It is relaxing, theraputic even. :)

When I clean, I always put on some tunes. It helps me clean with some "rhythm". So I put on Phil Wickham a song called "True Love". His voice is amazing. Very angelic.

Anyhoo...

I start to clean the kitchen and I really was meditating on the words as I was scrubbin along, which doesn't always happen.

This song is POWERFUL! And lately the theme that God keeps reminding me is "MEDITATE ON ME..." So with this song, it was really easy to put my mind on the things above.

So my favorite line from the song for the moment is Lose your life, just so that you can find it...

THIS is hard. But NOT impossible. If HE (Jesus) told me to do so in His word, it's possible. Point blank. It's just time to put me away. I think if I was Jesus, I wouldn't want to go thru the whips, lashes, spits to the face, pulling on the beard, Cross bearing for ANYONE... but that wasn't him at all! He put HIS OWN SELF to the side. And did what the father asked of Him to do. He is the ultimate example.

Lose self. Find Christ.